Babysitter Worries for Back to Work Time

So, I am supposed to go back to work for December 1st. Luckily it is a salon my friend and I am starting up in her home so I am my own boss for the most part. The problem that I am faced with is that my boyfriend does not do regular 9-5 job everyday. sometimes he works overtime n very little or no notice late into the night. This poses a big problem for me as my babysitter I have secured only works until 5:30 at the latest. Now, not to be nasty towards in laws, BUT... They are retired and they cannot even commit to the two hours after supper two days a week to help me out. Then the Saturday from 10-2. I mean thanks grandma and grampa! It is really too much to ask of your child's grandparents to help you out. I know some people who have parents who are just dying to see their grandchildren. oh no. not these guys. I have no clue why these people cannot help us out. So, now not only do I have to hire someone from 930 am until 5 pm, but now I need to find some poor soul to pick him up from his sitters on Thursday and Friday and bring him back home and feed him and bath him. A complete stranger!!! I mean isn't one complete stranger babysitter enough for one poor little baby. In case you can't tell I am a little begrudged by the lack of support the in laws have shown us. Any comments/suggestions are greatly appreciated.

Oh, Hello. I honestly don't know how much more non-sleep one person can endure. It's getting ridiculous. Last night not only did it take me two hours to get the baby to sleep. But then he woke up at 10 pm, midnight, 2 am, and again at 5:30am...did he go back to sleep after that? That would be a big fat NO! Oh my God. Why won't he sleep? What I am doing that is enabling him to keep waking up? I don't give him bottles in the middle of the night, I don't use cold wipes when or if I change him, I don't know what else to do about this non-sleeping bull. It is wearing thin on my nerves. I start a new business in less than 2 weeks and he is going to be going to babysitter. You know what is sad? On one hand I am going to miss him during the day and the other hand says run, go to work, now, yesterday, leave him with the sitter...I can't stand getting him down for naps or putting him to bed and the hubby isn't much better at, in fact it takes him longer which is just annoying because most the time I have to go in and get in to sleep after he's had enough of it. So it is almost pointless to ask him to do it at all when I just have to go in there in the end anyways. Today is not a cheery day in blog world for me. Today I am tired and wee bit cranky at my life. Today I am going to go back to sleep with Daxon as soon as we eat breakfast. I feel like death I am so tired every frigging day. It has to start getting better, doesn't it..he's 15 months old for God sakes!

over and out.
later.

It's Been a Long Time...

So It has been a while since I have had the time or motivation to blog on here. Sorry. Kinda. Well Anyways, the point is a lot has happened. We own a house now, Daxon can actually sleep in his own little toddler bed from 7 pm until sometimes as late 2am...HUGE improvement. I cut him off nursing when he turned one, Thank God. Now I am working with an older friend of mine that will be renovating her home to accommodate a 2 person hair studio which I am very excited about. It will just be me and her and we love each other so it should be great. Daxon, on the other hand, probably wont find it so great. He will be going to the babysitters for at least 3 days a week. On the up side the girl I found has a daughter his age and she lives only 2 doors down from where I will be working so i feel pretty lucky about that. We have trial runt he babysitter for an hour and half one day while i had to help with some wedding party hair down the road at my friends place. He did well. He started to cry 20 minutes after we left and only lasted for about 5 to 10 minutes and then he was fine. When my boyfriend picked him up he was happily playing with the little girl so all was well in my mind. I hope it all works out and he is happy there. Halloween was a blast he was a puppy and we only did a few houses close to us in the subdivision here so he could have the experience you know. So that's about all that new. There you have it. Things are starting to look up and i couldn't be any more thankful for it.

Cya.

Oh wait. One more thing.

The book that someone ( Joanne, I think) recommended back in early June ( seems like months ago, but whatever!) called "WIPED" by Rebecca Eckler is AWESOME. It's so down to earth. Everyone should read it.

That's all.

Minor Set Back

Oh man, It seems like every time I get going on something or some new plan to progress into, it gets interrupted. The whole "get Dax to sleep in his own bed" plan has been postponed, not only because now he has caught a terrible cold and I have to baby him hardcore when he is sick and cuddle him and love him and well...you get the point. Also, the Bed Bug Bumper pad things we ordered didn't come in yet so, I don't feel safe putting him in that bed anyways! lol. Well, honestly, its not me that really minds so much, the co sleeping thing is easier for me anyway. Its the hubby that has become banished to the futon! Sad, but true.

So not only is the baby sick and the bumper pads haven't arrived but, also we have been trying to look and buy a new house AND we have just put an offer on a really SWEET place out East...*FINGERS CROSSED*. Please GOD, get me out of this Iran-Owned Apt Building...Our Landlord, I think secretly hates us because we made them fix up our place or we were going to the rentalsmen to do it for them. That means we pay rent to them, not our landlord if they don't agree to fix things. Ha ha. SOOOO glad we don't have to deal with all that garbage soon. Daxon will have a yard to play in with dog and we wont have to be so "UNSETTLED" feeling. This is a bit off track. Back to the bed issue.

So, I don't know whether i should just put the whole, wean the baby, getting him to sleep in his bed, getting him to sleep through the night plans on hold until we move because moving will more than likely disrupt all these efforts and set me back to where i will have to start alllllll over again. I only want to do this once, folks. Anyways. I feel like I need a nanny helper to deal with all these things I have to do, how do people deal with all this? Being a mother is really hard sometimes, so many things fall on you, so many responsibilities and choices. It's nice to be this important in someones life ( my baby's life, I mean) but, man...I wouldn't mind someone else stepping up to the plate once in a while to help me out with all these dilemmas.

The New Bed

Oh this is sooo exciting. It is day 2 of "the new bed" trials and so far so good. We have made real progress. He didn't nap in his bed today for his two naps. One was on our bed and the other on my lap in the after noon while i watched some rerun Degrassi. But, hat's not the point. The point is that tonight I laid him down in his bed after breastfeeding and rocking in the rocking chair and he stayed asleep...Yahooo!!! He woke up in an hour when the stupid cat walked by and meowed her shrill meow by him, but a little rocking in the chair and he was back to sleep. Now I don't imagine that he will sleep in it over night but , still this is progress. All these steps are steps toward the BIG picture: Daxon in his OWN room in his OWN bed.

I know this is a short one but I'm too happy about this little bit of goodness.

Giving up the crib

Today we have decided to give up on trying to get Daxon out of our bed and into his crib. Yeah, I know tons of other mothers breastfeed and co-sleep for way longer than 10 months but, I'm not going to be one of them forever. I think it is starting to affect my relationship with hubby negatively. He doesn't feel comfortable in the bed any more and I feel slightly guilty. It is ME after all that started placing him in the place because it was just the easier route over fighting to get him down in his crib. He was one of those babies that every time you moved an ounce when he was asleep, he would wake up. So, naturally when I put him to sleep in his crib he would wake up automatically. I know, I know..."put him to bed when he is drowsy, not asleep". I've heard it all. I just couldn't let him cry and still can't 10 months later. It breaks my heart to have him hyperventilate over simply being put down alone in his crib.

So here we are... co-sleeping and still breast feeding. I've got him down to only breast feeding for his 2 naps during the day and his night time feedings. Which is really an improvement, believe it or not from what we used to do. It was pretty much whenever and wherever.

Tomorrow we are setting up his new little bed in his roome. It's one of those cribs that convert into a little bed when they are old enough. Well, he's not quite old enough but,oh well. I can get him to sleep in my arms and not disturb him by plaing him WAY DOWN DOWN DOWN into his crib. Ah, much easier. Of course now I will have to get one of those mesh guards to put over the side so he doesn't roll out onto the floor in the middle of the night in case he gets all tossy turver on me. I hope this will solve some of the sleep issues going on in my home. Time will only tell.

Reel Babies Success

Today I went to the Reel Babies at Empire Theatre. I had to take the city bus from Uptown to Parkway Mall to get there. It was out first Public Transit ride since moving here. Daxon didn't seem to mind the bus at all. Of course maybe it was all the Cheerios I fed him. So, Just as I arrive I see the girl (whose name I can't remember and am hoping to catch someone else saying it...) and her 7 month old baby Ethan ( which I just learned today, despite being in the same swim class for weeks now, sad, I know). We ended up sitting together because it was both our 1st time there so we stuck together. The babies liked it each other and even sat in the same seat together for a bit before the toy and cracker stealing started to get out of hand and we separated them. I guess we probably thought it was a bigger deal than the babies did. Oh well. Daxon may have a new little friend if I can get up the nerve to try and get contact info after the last swim meet next week. There are refreshments and stuff after the class , so I imagine everyone will be getting to the chatting and phone numbers and email crap. So all in all it was a pretty good day.

The day just kept getting better...

I arrive home in the afternoon and see a girl and her baby boy sitting on the stairs to the entry way of our apartment building. Turns out she just moved into my 4 unit building and is living right upstairs from us. Her baby is only 1 month younger than Daxon. I told her about the Reel Babies that I had just went to and she said she had never been. Maybe I will invite her next month if I see her around. I feel a little encouraged after today that things may just get easier as time passes...just the all the books I've read say.

THANK GOD IT GETS EASIER.

As for the sleeping situation. Yeah, hopefully after this weekend we would have made some progress in the weening department therefore making the sleeping situation easier to deal with. If anyone reads this has any tips for me for getting babies to sleep with out feeding themselves to sleep, feel free to comment..please. Unless you are going to tell me to let him cry it out, which may work for some people but, it is not my particular style of parenting. I prefer a non-crying baby for most times of the day. Aren't we here to cater to their needs in the first place? Yes. Anyways. Goodnight. It's too late to write anymore.

Ciao

Aquasize Classes...fweew & Other Random Thoughts

Oh where to start? I go to this Aquacize class EVERY Wednesday. It's hard friggin work. You have to lug your baby around ( mine is over 20 pounds already---I know, I know) in the water AND exercise at the same time! I finally feel comfortable talking with the other moms and now next week its over!!! :( Oh well, It was fun while it lasted and I think I finally lost some of that cruddy weight so that's a bonus. Today I mentioned going to the REEL BABIES at Empire Theatre over East Saint John to a couple girls and 1 said she might go tomorrow. Hopefully I see someone I know there. I miss my friend Amy in Fredericton. She would go with me every few weeks to these things. Here, I don't know ANYONE with babies. Hopefully I meet some people soon or poor Daxon will never be socialized.

Is there anything to do with your babies in this city. Any groups to meet people? I know of one playgroup that I am yet to check out. It's on Wentworth Street uptown here somewhere. I am hesitant because I don't know if it is appropriate for Babies or just Toddlers or what so, I procrastinate the phone call to actually find out for sure for another week or two. Stupid,eh. Complain about nothing to do, but I don't actually get out there when there is something to do. Whatever. That's typical me. Bitch about things I can fix but just choose not to.

Anyway, in September Daxon will be 13 months old and we are able to sign up for actual swim classes...not mommy works her ass off and baby gets to hang out and watch from a floating device. ( I'm not bitter about working out, I swear...lol) Hopefully those will provide some little friends for Daxon. I don't even really care at this point if I like the children's/babies mothers. ( Did I really just say that? lol) I just want Daxon to grow up with some babies friends,you know.

I'm sure everything (in time) will work its self out. I just have no patience, whatsoever.

I think I'll cut this short for now. Next time, when I have more time ( like we have have much time to ourselves. Ha!) to rant ( I mean, talk) I would like to discuss the fact that I have to go back to work soon and my baby isn't weaned and he sleeps in our bed and it's a down right disaster of mess to dig myself out of right now I think. Yeah, I know I'm not the only co-sleeper, breastfeeding, mat leave collecting mother out there but...holy crap...how do you put an end to all the bad habits that YOU ( me , alone) created? Yikes. I'm in for a real treat I think. A bad tasting treat. More later on this topic.

Ciao

Best Book EVER

So, I am reading ( and almost done ) this awesome book called "The Girlfriends' Guide to Surviving the First Year of Motherhood" by Vicki Iovine. She's a former Playboy Playmate and she is hilarious in this book. I highly reccomend this book to any struggling first time mother...it makes you feel so normal for all the bad thoughts or stupid questions you have had and never asked anyone. I've quite a few books at this point and this is by far the best one.

Hello!

So.... I am a new mother as of 10 months ago. I am 25 years old. I have no idea what I am doing sometimes, and I don't care. I am NEW at this and so is my baby...who's name is Daxon, by the way. Well, it definately changes your life...in good ways (mostly)...lol. This blog I am about to start is basically gonna be the raw truth about how things REALLY are for 1st time moms like myself...it aint all fun and games ALL the time, as all you new momma's have found out by now. Why do we set ourselves up thinking this motherhood thing is gonna be sooooo easy. Ahem...not so much. I feel bad for all those times I was all like "why can't she just control her kids" and other times when I was like " Just leave the grocery store lady, just LEAVE". I think I am a little more understanding now and definately a lot more patient, which for people who know me...that last one is a BIG deal, trust me.

Okay, so for today that is pretty much it. we have my boyfriends son, who is 5 down for a couple days ( now this is story all of its own which I may or may not get into in the future). So, we will be busy today for sure. How do people have time for more than 1 child/baby, I have no idea...here's to all you people who have more than 1 baby at home...congrats on keeping the sanity...its not for me. I have a hard enough time caring for the "1" that I have.

So, ta ta for now...look forward to hearing ppl's comments and continuing this blog up,who know's could be fun!!??

Ciao.